Becoming the Woman You Desire

You must recognize that, with layers, you can be the woman you want.

You may be assertive, but you're classy. You should be self-assured, but modest.

You construct components of your ideal personality. There is no black and white scenario.

The reason I posted Phylicia, Aaliyah, Olivia, and Beyoncé is that all of them have attributes that I respect and relate to. In particular, Aaliyah and Beyoncé should clarify who is at the heart

of who Luxuryblkwomen are since I instinctively relate to them as individuals.

1. Poise

Phylicia is famous for playing Clair Huxtable, and it was a simple task because she is the same woman in real life. As I mentioned on my blog in another post, Clair Huxtable was known for her poise. Clair eloquently addresses it when confronted with ignorance, thus defending herself.

You'll never see someone out of control of her feelings like her. She was highly intelligent (more than Cliff) and a wife and mother who was successful. She was never caught looking disheveled

because she realized she was on tape.

What you can learn: Clair Huxtable’s Poise

•Gracefully manage disputes. No sub-tweets, no drama, only straightforward and easy.

Talk only if you have to share anything useful. Stop gossip and discourage mean spirited comebacks. With truth and grace, speak.

•You can be the woman you desire. You can have the career, the family, and the wisdom to do it all well.

•The intellect of yours speaks for you. Nothing to prove is there. Often try, and learn more, to develop your intellect.

2. Maturity & Clarity

Aaliyah was adored because, beyond her years, she had the experience. Mentally, she was ahead of most women of her generation. She had the maturity, which, with time, grew even more, and it set her apart from the rest. Whenever she spoke, it was from her heart. She was a strong conversationalist, and she held the attention of everyone. She was attractive because she was genuinely a mature woman who knew in the public eye how to handle herself.

What you can learn: Aaliyah’s Maturity & Clarity

•Have a warm spirit. Be authentic.

In a world full of want to be's people would be automatically attracted to your authenticity.

To yourself and to your principles, stay true.

•Know the importance of skills in society. Naturally, being articulate and well-spoken would make you mature. Take the time to respond, be careful with your words, and stay in touch with your eyes. Enunciate, please don't mumble. When speaking, maintain a suitable volume and have a good pace when voicing your thoughts.

•Be dependable and trustworthy. To your word, be real. Your name is everything you have, and all everyone can remember is your word.

•Know the significance of subtlety and simplicity. Keep things subtle, and don’t try too hard.  Keep your sense of style timeless. Embrace your sensuality, but keep it modest enough to create mystery and allure. 

3. Confidence

Olivia Pope, the fictional heroine, is renowned for her faith. She understood the value of her own opinion and instincts, above all. And though it was complicated, she trusted herself.

Although showcasing her strengths, she admitted weaknesses. She displayed no vanity, but rather an aura of humble assurance. She had limits, and in her relationships, she shared them sometimes. She was aware of her worth. Kerry Washington also said that she was taught about power, endurance, and bravery by playing Olivia.

What we can learn: Olivia Pope’s Confidence

•Trust in yourself. Validate your outlook. Though firm in your position, be respectful of varying opinions. When you need to say something, know when and how to say it.

•Have clear sight of what you want in life and make goals. Don’t let other people get in the way of your dreams. Be a leader, not a follower.

•Know how to schedule. Make it a habit of planning what you're going to do, and ultimately, based on your instincts, you can naturally make the right decision.

•Create simple limits. Do not let anyone dishonor you or violate you. For what is important to you, don't apologize. If something, know your worth. Let it talk on its own. Know that no one like you exists and that you are someone that others aspire to be.

4. Privacy, Charisma, & Work Ethic

On social media, Beyoncé is someone to be praised for her private nature. Even if it's career-related, she's not going to air out all of her business. She understands the surprise part. She withdraws and checks in with herself while vulnerable. She's mindful of her boundaries. Bey is renowned for her undeniable charisma as well. She already had an exceptional personality, and without trying, it reflected in her days in a girl group. Lastly, her work ethic has been lauded by her colleagues. She is a hard worker, and will not stop until everything is right for her. She sets the bar for herself. She believed in herself, even when the record label said she wouldn’t have hit on her debut. “I guess they were kinda right, I had five.”

What we can learn: Beyoncé’s Privacy, Charisma, & Work Ethic

•Do not disclose anything. Maintain a privacy semblance, especially with acquaintances.

•Always do your absolute best. At the end of the day, the best is enough, even though other people don't think so. All that counts is that with everything you do, you give the best that you have. In every facet of your life, pursue perfection, and watch the magic happen. Have expectations that are strong.

•Be autonomous. At all times, depending on yourself. Advocate on your own. Be a best friend of your own first.

•To make other people notice you, make it a point. Be memorable. Don't speak for yourself, but let it all speak for you. Have a straight stance, an impeccable style, and an attitude that gives haters no space.